Becoming a true follower of Jesus comes with tremendous intangible gain. It does, however come with loss as well.
This loss comes in the form of friendships, family relationships, popularity, social opinions of you, and worldly support. This leaves you feeling incredibly lonely. As someone trying to learn from Jesus, you’re trying to shed more and more of your old self to make room for godly improvements. This will irritate a lot of the people you think are your friends. They won’t understand why you’re taking this “Jesus Thing” so seriously.
I’m not saying you will lose ALL of your friendships, because true supportive friendships will withstand the new developments within your life. It will take some adjustments, and it will be messy. But prepare to lose other friendships you never expected to lose.
If you don’t have family members or friends in your circle who share your love and commitment to Jesus, you will probably be left feeling like you have no wise counsel. The bible tells us to seek wise counsel when we are having troubles or questions arise. If we look to our loved ones who can’t let go of the world and its ways, then it probably won’t be wise counsel. You need sound, moral, ethical, and BIBLICAL advice from a mature Christian when you are navigating your conversion.
SO, if you’re currently in this place in your walk…here’s what we’re going to do:
- Find a Christian church to attend regularly, if you haven’t already. There is an app you can download called “Church Center”. You can search for churches in your area…it’s a good start to your church shopping experience. I recommend attending a church that uses this app because it helps you stay organized and informed. When “Church shopping”, I might also recommend watching some of their online sermons if you have too much anxiety about just randomly showing up to a new church.
- Look on your church’s website for something that says “connect” or “contact”. Most churches offer an email option at the least. Some churches (like mine) give you an option to fill out a questionnaire online to see how they can serve YOU! If there is no questionnaire option, then go for the contact. Send them an email just stating that you are looking to connect with the community and possibly seeking mentorship.
- Get involved in a church that offers life groups, bible studies, and fellowship events. This is how you really start connecting with like-minded people who are dedicated to supporting you.
- Attend a few groups or events a month. I personally attend a weekly bible study group, as well as a weekly life group on top of regular worship service. Bible study groups are not just for seasoned veteran Christians. They are for all people looking to strengthen their faith, deepen their knowledge, and increase their understanding of God. It’s really cool when these groups have attendees of all ages and stages in their journey. Everyone gains several different perspectives of the world and daily struggles.
- If mentorship is an option that your church can provide you, take it! You will meet with a mentor as much as your schedule allows, I personally meet with mine once a week for an hour or two. This mentor will be your emergency counselor when you’re having a rough day, an encouraging friend, and a wise teacher.
- See if your church needs help with volunteering in any areas. I’d say most churches (if not all) always need as much help as they can find in the children’s programs. This may not seem like a way to find support in the church, but it’s how I met my mentor and one of my now best friends.
- Don’t be scared to put yourself out there. Meeting with other Christians outside of the church for coffee, lunch, or a walk outside allows you to get to know each other on deeper levels than time allows at church functions.
The takeaway here is, get your feet planted into a Christian church.
When I felt like I had nobody in my corner that truly understood what I was going through or even cared…I filled out my church questionnaire. I started volunteering, got paired with my mentor, and started making time for life groups. 2 months later, God brought me my best friend. Now, I don’t have to worry about having no one to run to for wise counsel. Because if my bestie isn’t available, I run to my mentor. And if my mentor isn’t available, I have a back-up mentor. I have several people who pray for me and want to see God do great things in my life, and vice versa.
God really does restore what you have lost, and He does it in an even bigger and better way than you could imagine.
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